Home Depoe

Carey O'Donnell, 23, M, milkmaid
twitter.com/ecareyo

2012 HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

1. Femur bone 

2. Ann Coulter 

3. Ann Coulter, gnawing on a femur bone in the corner of a dank basement 

4. Ann Coulter, years from now, sitting up in bed as teal dawn bleeds through the lace window curtains, trying to sound out words, any word, knowing all she has are her words. She pulls out clumps of her hair, picking away at her scalp until there is no hair, and no scalp; all that remains is the head of a buzzard

5. Flannel mustache 

6. Crying in the passenger seat of your mom’s car while your sister drives, feeling your stomach collapse on itself, expand out, then collapse again; remembering the cold beach at night, his hand on the inside of your thigh, confident you could make a home for yourselves in the frozen tall grass behind you

7. Kris Jenner in a coffin; ‘I’ll be safe here,’ she thinks, smiling 

8. A giant oil painting of Paul Ryan’s eyes, except when you step back far enough, you see a young boy wandering through a T.J.Maxx, looking for his mother 

9. T.J.Maxx

10. Google search: “SoulCycle, Satan, and You”

11. Text from my mom that says “Have you eaten today”

12. Text from my mom that says “Make sure you eat”

13. Eating leftover rib-eye steak over a trash can in the restaurant storage area 

14. Flies 

15. Jersey Shore cast getting put away into a box labeled “Indefinitely”

16. Mike ‘The Situation’, middle-aged, calling Snooki in the middle of the night; “Sometimes I think I see you people on the street, or in a store; sometimes I hear all of your voices when I walk through my darkened house at night, and the music-that sweet, sweet music”, he’ll say; “Who is this again?” Snooki will ask

17. Hearing about your high school reunion the week after your high school reunion 

18. Looking at your red wine teeth in the bathroom mirror, and listening to Hurricane Sandy’s winds, and car alarms, sirens, barking dogs

19. Moving to New York, and getting a job at a restaurant and dragging a trash can full of hot garbage through a line of club-goers, and seeing their frowning faces, and leaning against the brick of the warehouse across the street, watching the ember of your cigarette blow away with the wind into the Hudson 

20. Gay femur bone, but not, like, fully gay